In between a rock and a hard place

What a terrible day earlier. I wasn't allowed to be grouchy (although I was in a really foul mood) my family members got into a battle royale with me being intertwined in the whole mess. I wanted to let loose with both barrels but couldn't because of mitigating circumstances which I can not go into in a public forum. I have not been doing all that great this afternoon nor now (9:04 CDT). I have taken my 1 Darvocet for the night and all of my Klonipin. Neither seem to have helped much if any. Once again music has been my saving grace after God. I got my web site mopped up and put back together and back in business, Everyone comments on how beautiful my photos are, yet no one shells out any green. I am not going to give them away. If you are interested, : ericjmoenphotography.com click on cached in any of the particular hosted web sites. Just as purty as can be. Just like a freshly opened can of peaches. My God man or woman, read this!! Say something!! It would put my mind to rest. Thank you Scott for reading this. I wasn't using the Lord's name in vain as I meant what I was saying. Thank you for your undying support my friend. You mean a lot to me. I took some photos of the waterfalls again tonight only later in the day this time, and I think the results are going to prove fruitful. My greatest temptation right now is not more Methadone, it's more Coca Cola. After writing and listening to music, the anger and agony subsides for a while. Now it's Fleetwood Mac. I like groups whom write about life. Lyrics with meanings. Personal meanings. Next I will spin my favorite: The Clash. Yeah baby, yeah. Sometimes I don't know if I am going to make it through a withdrawal or not. I won't take any more Methadone. I just won't. Won't even cross my mind. Now other drugs on the other hand, this is a different story. Give me Valium, Give me more Klonipin. No such luck. As with Methadone however, I will not take extra without being prescribed more. My back hurts. The central reason why I was put on Methadone, but you rarely read about it. Kind of ironic in some sort of way I guess. I wish that I were in love. Somehow I think being in love would make all of this shit easier. So, all of you Ms. rights out there here I am. Don't let the photo deter you I really am good looking and can be quite witty when I am not crying about addictions (authority over them). Besides, this blog is very therapeutic. I don't talk about this garbage all day with anyone and everyone I meet on the street. I keep it pretty much to myself except when I am feeling particularly nasty and I have to explain my mood. Anyway that's it for now everyone. Have a good Saturday night. God bless you all - Eric

A good day (so far)

I can't believe that I was once on 45mg. of Methadone. I can feel the euphoria flowing through my brain - my receptors happy that they are recepting. Today is the end of 15mg. Tomorrow launches 10mg. for 5 days. Then I get nervous. 5mg/day sounds pretty tough. I wonder how long a person suffers after one has been taken off totally. Agreed I did choose to do this ween rather abruptly, but I want off. "Everybody in the fun house, wants out." - Del Amitri. Last night was kind of rough on me. But I made it through it. So very tired. Hungry. Sugar. Ah much better. I just had to eat something now I am back. I am more awake now. Not much to say today; hopefully from now on all of my writings will be as bland. I discovered that caffeine makes withdrawals so much worse. I will have to abstain from drinking cherry Coke in the evening. My photography is suffering as are my internet businesses. Life can pretty much stink. I don't know what happened to my photo web site, but it is all messed up; it will take hours to fix. Well, no time like the present. Live long and prosper.

Eric