Sunday, August 5, 2007

feeling good and methadone free

I am updating my progress since my last entry (May 14?). Things are going much better now that I can think clearly. There are no issues of cravings. I am still free. The tiger has been tamed. No more Methadone since my last entry and I don't want to go back. Once again, I would like to thank all of you who were pulling for me; you made a difference. To anonymous: thank you for your interest in my progress. It has been nearly three months of being free. Life is good.

Monday, May 14, 2007

FREE AT LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After 8 days of hellish withdrawals from the total abstinence after my taper, I am now free from withdrawals! I made it! Done for good. Forever and ever amen. I am so happy for a loving God who delivers us from all maladies as He sees fit. At this point I want to publicly thank Jesus and the Holy Spirit whom without their constant closeness along with Jehova ( I am not a Jehova's Witness), I would not be writing this note of history in the life of Eric J. Moen. I owe a great prayerful debt to those who prayed for me when things looked bleak. Thank you Karlene, Sharon, Gregory, Scott and my Mom, et. al.. Thanks to all who were pulling for me. If anyone reads this testament of deliverance, let it be known that nothing in life is impossible. Honestly, the mornings gave me the most trouble. Approximately 4-6 hours of anguish at the worst points. I could have been easier on myself if I tapered over a much longer period of time. This isn't my style; perhaps I am masochistic. With Spring and Summer approaching, I wanted to be Methadone free for mental clarity as I knew that I was going to buy a motorcycle. I picked the shortest distance between two points. I say this to encourage other Methadone users to try to quit at a more leisurely pace. At a much more moderate taper, withdrawals can even be averted. The dragon has been slayed. I feel free at last!

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Methadone: Dangerous trap

This blog is for all of you who are advocates for Methadone clinics and Methadone use in use for chronic pain: wake up. I suffer from an herniated disk in my lower back which affects my left leg and upper mid back. The pain can be exquisite. I was on Darvocet 2-3/day before I was slapped into a Methadone due to my drug seeking behaviour for a drug that actually worked just fine. I wasn't in the clinic long enough to get too hooked on Meth. I wanted out. I didn't want to go 6 days a week for my "fix"; it was bullshit in every sense of the word. I entered a pain clinic which prescribed me 45mg./day Methadone. I was on this level for a couple of years in the form of a month's supply prescription at a time. I had a life once more. I am now as always still taking 2 Darvocet for break through pain. This arrangement is going fine. I am no longer taking Methadone. It has been 6 days since I went off of Meth. It is not easy. Even after a 6 week taper, my body convulses for want of the "wonder drug." Meth. attaches itself to fat tissues in your body and has a long half-life. I am now being tortured through withdrawals. If this was a true natural opiate, I would be fine by now. After 5 days of staying off of Methadone, I called a staff nurse to ascertain how long it would be before the un-pleasant side affects would continue and the answer was 2 more weeks. 2 weeks of presumed hell. For all of you who are addicted to Methadone, please consider getting off of it. It's very possible. And think about your desire to see further prescribing Methadone. If you are thinking clearly enough and want to try to escape the ties that bind, I will be praying for you (yes, prayer works). If you must advocate Methadone, abide by ethical treatment of the patient. The Hypocratic oath: Do no harm.
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An Evil Taskmaster

After a terrible past several days, I am feeling a bit better. I haven't caved in to the Methadone. I have gone through some horrific withdrawals the past three days. Today was a good day. I rode my motorcycle on a small road trip. Being on the open road on a cycle is quite liberating. What else can I say? I went without my Klonipin for one day; no big deal. The doctor was gone for the past several days which caused a lapse in my Rx. I could just as well get rid of the Klonipin altogether as it is not doing much for me anyhow. I got an answer from my pain clinic as to how long I can expect to be un-comfortable from the lack of Methadone: two weeks. Judging from the past withdrawals, this will be an eternity. Let's just hope that today remains calm. Goodbye stranger, it's been nice.