A rage from within

I want the shit beat out of me. I want to be thrown up against the walls. I want to be battered and bruised. I want my muscles to feel what their putting me through. Today is the first day of 2.5mg. of Methadone. I don't know what to do. Diverting my attention by writing is helping me marginally. I think I will attach my saddle bags on my motorcycle. Perhaps go for a ride. Thank God for Vistaril! It's not the end all of all end alls, but it calms my nerves somewhat. I still feel terrible though. Not a total miracle drug. Well readers, this is it for now. L'chiam.